I Really am Despicable, aren't I?
by Deliriun K Naskantan
Summary: After being rejected by Tezuka, Fuji does something unusually stupid. And with that one mistake Fuji's life starts to unravel. He will not be able to keep his secrets for long.
1. Prologue

_A/N: This is a bit AU in the fact that Tezuka never goes to Germany, not to mention that some of the backgrounds and family situations of the characters are completely made up by me._

_They are older in this story than in the manga/anime, but they are still in the same school. Just pretend Ryoma was really 15 when he entered Seigaku, ok? That puts Fuji at age 18 and Tezuka at age 17 in this story._

_YES Fuji is older than Tezuka, by almost a year. Deal with it._

_I think I heard someone say the typical Japanese school year starts in February. Sorry if that's wrong, but that's the way this story is written. The prologue takes place early March, so the school year has just started._

_There is an OC in this story, but I PROMISE she will disappear after a few chapters. She's NOT a Mary-Sue. She's kind of important to the plot though._

_Disclaimer: Deliriun does not own Tennis no Ohjisama, Konomi Takeshi-san does. Deliriun owns a Mizuki-plushie which she punishes daily with voodoo-pins._

_Once you get to the story, text in italics will be either thoughts or simple emphasis. I think you'll be able to tell which is which._

_I have no beta, so don't kill me because my spelling/grammar is weird._

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**Prologue**

Tezuka seemed like a cold person to those who didn't know him, but Fuji _did_ know him. Tezuka hid behind his cold mask because he felt it was expected of him and, in a way, as a measure to protect himself. The first time Fuji talked to Tezuka he had seen this, because it was so similar to the way he himself behaved. Over the years Fuji and Tezuka had formed an odd sort of friendship. It was in no way close and cuddly like the one Eiji shared with Oishi, nor was it based on grudging respect, like the one of Kaidoh and Inui. It was a friendship of never spoken words. They never studied together, as neither of them needed any help in academics anyway. They didn't go out for ice-cream together, like Oishi and Eiji and they didn't train together, like Inui and Kaidoh. They hardly ever spoke during the day, and during practice all they did was stand next to each other, sometimes exchanging comments on the form of the people training. They were complete opposites and yet so very much the same. After practice Fuji would at times wait for Tezuka, usually for no reason, after which they would walk together home in silence. They would say goodbye with soft nods to one another, and know without speaking that the other would be at school the next day to continue their quiet friendship. Tezuka would reproach Fuji for his lack of commitment to anything, and Fuji would tease Tezuka in his ever sadistic ways, but they didn't really need words because they both knew each other better than they really should. And yet…

"You're not going to say anything?" His voice was soft, questioning. Tezuka stared at him, whatever emotions he may be feeling hidden behind that ever flawless mask he always wore. Fuji sighed and put on his own mask, the counter to Tezuka's stoic one, his fake smile.

"Maa Tezuka, one would think a confession of love would at least render you speechless… Oh wait a minute…" he joked.

"If that was all you had to say, Fuji." Tezuka stood from his earlier seated position on the locker-room bench and turned towards the door. Fuji opened his eyes in shock.

"You don't believe me, is that it? You think I'm playing some trick on you?"

Tezuka didn't answer.

"Tezuka…"

"Fuji, I suggest you stop," Tezuka didn't turn to face him, but rather spoke to the door. "This will be uncomfortable enough as it is."

"Uncomfortable…? I just want you to know how I feel. If you don't return my feelings just tell me so. I'll back off, you know I will." Fuji's smile was back on, as brilliant and fake as ever. Tezuka didn't move for a minute, then seemed to come to a decision.

"Fuji, I won't believe what you just told me because in the years I've known you, the times when you have been serious about something can be counted on one hand. This is another of your schemes in hope of gaining something which you will later use for blackmail or something similar, and I will not stand for it this time. Find yourself another victim, preferably someone outside Seigaku." He walked to the door and opened it. He hesitated for a brief moment then stepped outside, closing the door behind him.

Fuji stood staring at the door, not quite believing what had just happened. He felt… Empty. Tezuka was the one who understood him better than anyone else, with the exception of Yuuta and possibly Yumiko. He acted cold, but Fuji could always see through that. This time though, Tezuka hadn't just been cold. He had been cruel. And Tezuka was never cruel. Fuji suddenly noticed his hands were shaking.

_Am I really so despicable? Maybe I'm wrong about my feelings. Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm really only looking to embarrass him. Or maybe I've misunderstood something in all of this. I thought I loved him but I could be wrong. I could be wrong. Couldn't I? Can't I? Please, I don't want this now. This hurts. Tezuka thinking something like that about me hurts. He knows me so well though, he would be right about something like this. He would be right. I really am despicable._

Fuji didn't know how he had ended up on his knees on the floor, but he didn't really care either. His entire body was shaking now. He felt something wet on his face, but he refused to think he was crying. He smiled. As long as he smiled everything would be alright. It was a lesson he had learned as a child. Smiling would make it all better. Smiling was his daily comfort.

He vaguely heard his cellphone give off a beep. He unsteadily made his way to his feet and over to his bag, fishing out the phone. It was just a message from a girl he had gotten to know some weeks earlier, called Kyosumi Takako. She wasn't really a friend, or girlfriend for that matter, they had just gone out for some innocent (though Fuji had a lot of fun teasing her by making it not-so-innocent) dancing a few times. She had a cute blush. Fuji looked over the message. She wondered if he was free tonight. Seemed she had a fight with her family. Fuji stared straight ahead with dead eyes. Thoughts were running through his head at an alarming speed, but then again that was not unusual. The thought that finally stuck however, was.

Fuji slowly clicked through his address book, finding Takako's number. He pressed dial.

"Moshi, Takako-san? Maa, I'm fine, I just had something stuck in my throat. I'm free tonight. No that's alright, we can meet at the park as usual. I figured we'd do something else this time though. Well my family isn't home, but would you like to see my house?"

_I really am despicable, aren't I?_

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_A/N (again!): Flames will be given to Howl to power his moving castle. He'll be happy, but I won't, I hate that damn castle! (I like Howl though, err…)_

_Review please!_


	2. Chapter 1

_A/N: Jumping forward about a month in time, just so you know._

_Also, the POV changes sometimes between paragraphs. I hope you can tell when without me pointing it out, I feel that disrupts the story._

_Disclaimer: Still don't own, Konomi Takeshi-san does. Deliriun owns a Ryoma-plushie, which she throws in the face of her friends while shouting 'mada mada dane'._

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**Chapter 1**

Eiji was not stupid. He could tell something was wrong when Fuji suddenly stopped standing next to Tezuka at practice. While Eiji usually went around telling anyone that would listen that he was Fuji's best friend, he knew he didn't come close to knowing Fuji as well as Tezuka did. However, Tezuka seemed oblivious to any change in Fuji. No, that wasn't it. Tezuka seemed to have stopped caring about what Fuji did during practice. Fuji could have sat in a corner of the court singing European folk music or reciting dirty limericks (actually Fuji had already done that last year, now that Eiji thought about it) for all Tezuka seemed to care. And that just wasn't right. If nothing else, it made Eiji wary. If Tezuka was ignoring Fuji, it meant Fuji was free to do just about anything he pleased. And that was _bad!_

"Nyah, Oishi," Eiji tugged at his doubles partners arm. "Is Tezuka ok? He's ignoring Fuji."

"Hmm?" Oishi looked over to where Tezuka was standing looking immersed in the game currently being played between Momo and Taka-san, and blinked when he realised Fuji was not next to him. He looked around and found the misplaced tensai standing at the complete opposite of the court. As far away from Tezuka as currently possible. He blinked again.

"Actually, they both seem to be ignoring each other," he said slowly.

"Nyah, aren't they! I wonder why… Hoi, maybe Fuji did something bad again, like change Tezuka's water bottle with Inui's, or steal Ochibi's underwear!"

Oishi gave a bit of a twitch. Sometimes Eiji's mind went slightly off kilter. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing, it just made it more difficult to understand him at times. At the mention of the word Ochibi their newest addition to the team looked up from where he was tying his shoes, already having learned the nickname his always-happy senpai used for him. He looked bored as usual.

"Kikumaru-senpai, did you want something?"

Oishi flinched. Echizen hadn't gotten to know his acrobatic senpai very well yet. Not good.

"Hoi! Ochibi, drop your shorts, I want to see if you still have your underwear!"

"…What?"

"Nyah, drop'em!"

And with that, the chase was on. Oishi tried to grab Eiji as he ran by, but the redhead wasn't called an acrobat for nothing and easily avoided his partner. Eiji chased the freshman around the courts once, then in circles around Kaidoh a few times ("Fshuuuu!"), over to the changing rooms and then back towards the courts again. Echizen, finally having had enough, did the smart thing. He ran onto the courts and right in front of Tezuka. Tezuka gave a start, as if he had been far away, then turned to look at the freshman who, having been finally caught by his senpai, was struggling to keep his black shorts on. One of Tezuka's eyebrows twitched.

"Kikumaru, Echizen! Forty laps around the courts, _now_!"

"_Forty?_" Eiji exclaimed incredulously. Tezuka glared at him. The redhead swallowed audibly and glanced expectantly towards Fuji, forgetting for a moment the discussion that had started the chase. Normally Fuji would have talked their captain down to at most twenty laps, but now Fuji simply smiled at his redheaded friend and stayed where he was. And thus Eiji's suspicions were confirmed. There really was something wrong.

Fuji could tell Eiji was tired during homeroom, which was the first class of the day. Running forty laps at the morning practice would have made just about anyone tired. The acrobat made a bit of a show of his fatigue however, lying with his head on his desk whimpering and pouting. Quite a few girls came to give him hugs and candy, comforting him and agreeing when Eiji ranted on and on about what an evil bully Tezuka was. All in all, Eiji seemed to be having a lot of fun. Fuji only wished he knew just what it was that caused the redhead to try and get into Echizen's shorts. Fuji turned his head away from Eiji so the other boy wouldn't see his smile go from unbelievably fake to undeniably real. Now, if it had been Oishi's shorts…

Fuji bit back the laugh that threatened to surface. Their teacher was giving Eiji a look that spoke of both reproach and amusement. Homeroom with class 3-6 was never dull with Eiji in it, and the teacher had given up trying to get him to listen. She had given up about Fuji as well, although that was for a different reason entirely. Fuji's smile turned sad for a moment. He frightened teachers. Not just his homeroom teacher, but all of them. At one point Fuji's math class had a substitute teacher who had never heard of Fuji Syusuke. He caught the tensai staring out the window, as he had for want to do. Smugly the substitute had given Fuji the honour of coming to the front and writing the solution to the problem on the board, thinking Fuji wouldn't be able to do so. Fuji had written the answer to the problem flawlessly, however he had not written the calculations for the answer. The substitute had believed he cheated somehow, and had given him a paper with another problem to solve. Fuji had solved it in a matter of seconds, again without writing out the calculations. The substitute had refused to give up and had thrown problem after problem at the tensai, finally annoying Fuji to the point where he had gone up to the board, written down a problem of his own and told the substitute to solve it, then left the class. The substitute had quit the next day, and Fuji happened on him as he was leaving. The man had given him a look of such fear that Fuji actually felt guilty. Later he was called to the principal's office and asked to either please not 'flaunt' his knowledge quite so openly, or accept one of the many university offers he was constantly being given. Fuji had smiled and gone back to his classes. He refused to be any more different than he already was. Fuji wondered absent-mindedly if Tezuka ever had these problems. While he was not a tensai, he was still above their current school level. Fuji shook his head. Thinking about Tezuka was something he had promised himself over a month ago that he would not do anymore. He sighed quietly. It was proving difficult.

A voice spoke through the speakers in the hall, echoing into the classroom through the open door.

"**Would Fuji Syusuke-kun please come to the principal's office? I repeat; would Fuji Syusuke-kun please come to the principal's office?**"

Fuji blinked. Just when he was thinking of the last time he had been in there, he was called again? This time he couldn't think of anything he had done however. Eiji was looking at him with eyes larger than tennisballs. Fuji smiled at his friend and got up, bowed at his teacher and walked out into the hall just as the teacher started to dismiss the rest of the class. Whatever this summoning was, he hoped it wasn't because of another crazed foreigner hoping to recruit him to his school/tennis team/research lab. Fuji was happy where he was. Well, as happy as he could be at any rate. He arrived at the office and rapped at the door. Not bothering to wait for an invitation (as the principal hardly ever bothered to give any), he opened the door and stepped in. He got two steps into the office before a fist connected with his face and sent him tumbling back out through the door.

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_A/N (again!): Cliffie. Err, I like cliffies, they make it easier to write the continuation. Don't hate me please, I'll try to update soon. If I get reviews that is, hehehe…_

_As always; flames will be given to Howl to power his moving castle, which will then go wandering into the flamers gardens trampling all their flowers…_

_Review please!_


	3. Chapter 2

_A/N: In the story things in italics are either thoughts or emphasis. You should be able to tell which is which._

_This WILL be yaoi… Eventually. No matter how much it may not seem like it in this chapter._

_Short chapter, sorry. I prefer to write that way._

_Disclaimer: Deliriun no own Tennis no Ohjisama, Konomi Takeshi-sensei does. Deliriun owns a Shinji-plushie which she likes to sit in a corner with and mumble to._

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**Chapter 2**

Fuji looked up from across the hallway where he had been thrown by the force of the hit, his eyes for once open wide. He blinked. An enraged older man (in his mid forties, Fuji thought) was being held back by Ryuzaki Sumire and the principal's secretary. The man was struggling, snarling and glaring at Fuji as if he wanted to kill him.  
Fuji had never seen him before in his life.

The hallway was filling up with students, and Fuji felt their eyes staring at him where he leaned against the wall under the window. This would make prime gossip for the next few weeks, perhaps even the next month. Fuji Syusuke the tensai attacked (and knocked down mind you) by unknown middle-aged man. Fuji would have smiled if not for the pain in his jaw, where the man's fist had connected. Instead he settled for closing his eyes and cocking his head to one side.

A small movement behind the angry man caused Fuji's eyes to snap open again. With some trouble he managed to hide his surprise when he recognized who was sitting huddled on the principal's couch, shaking slightly. He hadn't seen her in almost a month.

"Takako-san?" he said slowly, suddenly getting a very bad feeling about the situation.  
Takako looked up at the sound of Fuji's voice. Her face was tearstained. She quickly wiped at the tears with the back of her hand and looked away. Fuji frowned. He didn't know the girl very well despite it all, but in the time they had been acquainted Fuji had not once seen her sad. Angry yes, but not sad.

"Fuji, don't just sit there. Get in here _now_." Ryuzaki's voice was rough and carried none of its usual warmth. She was obviously not happy, and Fuji had an alarming feeling it wasn't the fuming man she was angry at.  
Fuji quickly got up. The older man had calmed down enough to not struggle as Ryuzaki and the secretary pulled him into the office again. Fuji swiftly followed. Whispers between the students in the corridor started before the door was even closed. Fuji felt as if he had just walked into trouble way over his head.

The principal – who hadn't moved even once during all the commotion – sat at his desk calmly picking through some papers. He looked up as the door closed and gestured towards some chairs that were placed conveniently in front of him. Fuji ignored the gesture and walked over to the couch where Takako was sitting. He knelt next to it and tried to look up into her face. She avoided his eyes.  
"Takako-san, what's wrong?" he asked quietly. The girl shuddered a bit but didn't look at him.

"Get away from her damn it, you've done enough!" The fuming man bellowed and made a move as if to attack Fuji again. Ryuzaki stepped between them quickly.

"While I understand your anger, I don't think Fuji has quite grasped the situation yet. Please calm down, at least for the moment," she said slowly. She then turned to Fuji.

"Fuji, this is Kyosumi Reiji-san. I understand from what I've been told that you have not met before. Kyosumi-san is the father of Takako-chan, though I would think you have already guessed as much," she finished with some of her usual wryness. Fuji nodded calmly. He had guessed the man's relation to Takako as soon as he had noticed the girl sitting on the couch. He had also guessed what this was most likely about now. He stood slowly and bowed his head towards Takako's father.

"Kyosumi-san, I'm sorry we have to meet under such circumstances. I think I know what this is about and I'd like to express-"  
"Shut up! You think an apology is going to be enough? I'd beat you black and blue if your senseis weren't here." He glared at Fuji who had interrupted himself as soon as Kyosumi started talking.  
"I don't care for your excuses, but I'll give you one chance to make this right. What are you going to do about this?" He looked intently at Fuji, who was having a hard time not to open his eyes and frighten the annoying man away with his Glower-of-Doom (Eiji's words). Fuji frowned.

"As I tried to say earlier; I apologise. Not for my actions, as atrocious as they may seem to you, but because you had to find out. No doubt it is not something a parent would like to know about their children. I don't regret anything however, and I believed at the time Takako-san wouldn't either." Fuji turned to Takako. "I'm sorry if I was wrong about that." He looked back at Kyosumi. "We were both in need of comfort and, while I admit to being the one to bring up the idea of us finding it in each other, the act in itself was a mutual one. I did not force myself on your daughter, sir. I realise it sounds as if I'm trying to share the blame, so to speak, which is not the case. To be truthful however I don't quite see what you're so upset about."

Kyosumi stared at Fuji. Slowly a sneer started to spread across the man's face. It got wider and wider until it looked as if his face would split. He laughed contemptibly.

"And here I bought all those stories of Fuji Syusuke the tensai being the smartest person since Einstein, and you haven't even figured out 'what I'm so upset about?'" Fuji noticed Takako was shaking again. Kyosumi smirked.

"Well, let me enlighten you then. Not only did you fuck my daughter, you apparently forgot the most important thing."  
Fuji swallowed as his worst fear was realised. Kyosumi's face went red with fury.

"Bastard, you got her pregnant!"

And with that, Fuji's world crashed down around him.

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_A/N (again): Like I said earlier, I like cliffies, ehrm hehe…_

_I know, I know, like I said, don't worry this will be yaoi, I promise! Just setting up the angst, so to speak (coughs)._

_Flames will be given to Howl who will then give them to Calucifer who will then bully them into running back crying to the ones who sent them, and that's not very nice is it. Don't put the poor flames in such a position, eh?_

_Review please. It makes me write faster, though the next chapter may take a week or so. Not sure._


	4. Chapter 3

_A/N: In the story things in italics are either thoughts or emphasis. You should be able to tell which is which._

_Disclaimer: Deliriun does not own Tennis no Ohjisama. Deliriun owns an Atobe-plushie, which she has hanging on her mirror because he refused to hang anywhere else._

_Got a review I need to address._

_**Helpful I hope:** I'm sorry you feel like I have to change it. Like I said in my a/n before the prologue, this is the way I've written things and I'm sorry if they are wrong. This is a somewhat AU story; the boys are older than in the manga/anime, and I NEED Fuji to be older than Tezuka, or any of the other seniors for that matter. It's important to the plot. I appreciate you trying to help me though. If it wasn't as important as it is, I would change it. I could probably change the school year into starting in April though… It wouldn't change a lot. I need to think about it for a bit because I'm not sure, the plot is still kind of outlining itself._

_If anyone knows what month(s?) Japanese kids have their summer hols and what month the school year ends, please tell me in a review. That way I can consider that information before actually writing anything._

_WARNING: Before you read this chapter, you should know I'm for abortion if it's used by people with no other choice. However, in this fic, abortions cost lots of money, so…_

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**Chapter 3**

If Fuji's smile had been a real physical mask, the force with which it slammed back into place would have given him a whiplash. He knew it probably looked strained however.  
"I see," he said slowly. "Senseis, Kyosumi-san, if you don't mind I'd like a word with Takako-san. Alone."  
Kyosumi spluttered and looked like he was about to protest, and quite forcefully too, but Ryuzaki stepped in before he could.  
"Yes, you two have a lot to talk about. Don't you agree, Kyosumi-san?" She gave the livid man a look that quite clearly said 'enough drama if you please'. Kyosumi glared at her. Then he gave a grunt of agreement and – after giving Fuji one last angry look – turned around and marched out through the door Ryuzaki had just opened. The principal and his secretary followed unhurriedly. Ryuzaki gave Fuji and Takako an encouraging nod before she too walked out and closed the door. Fuji wondered just what she was expecting from him. Probably not what he was about to do anyway. He turned to Takako, who was still sitting on the couch, looking miserable. He had to struggle now to keep his smile on.

"Takako-_san_," he said, placing emphasis on the honorific. "I'm not sure I understand everything your father told me just now." It wasn't completely true, but it didn't matter. He needed her to talk. Takako swallowed audibly. When she spoke her voice was a whisper.  
"I'm sorry. I know… I know what you're thinking-"  
"Oh, do you?" His voice was calm but he himself was anything but. Takako shuddered.  
"I… You… I'm sorry. But it r-really is y-yours," she stuttered. Fuji bit back an angry scream.  
"I see. How is that possible though? We were careful. You yourself supplied the condoms."  
"I know," she sobbed. "But… I… I'm sorry, they were old. I'd had them for a really long time, and I had them in my wallet and they must have… I didn't know! If I'd known we'd… I didn't think it mattered just that once." She slapped her hands to her mouth and whimpered, staring at him as if she was afraid he'd hurt her. With Kyosumi for a father, Fuji didn't blame her for reacting that way. He sighed and knelt in front of the couch, taking her hands in his.  
"Once is enough," he murmured, rubbing her hands gently. He decided to put aside all the annoyance he felt for the time being. It wouldn't help one bit in this situation, not to mention most of it was directed at himself. He focused his eyes on one of her ringfingers. He knew exactly what Kyosumi expected him to do. Quite probably, it was the same thing Ryuzaki wanted.

_No more. Not this. No more._

"So. It's really mine then?" His voice was kind.  
"I haven't, you know… Been with anyone else. Before or after. So it can't be anyone else's." She blushed and snivelled a bit. Fuji nodded. Takako was – though she could have a fierce temper – quite shy. She reminded him of Taka-san in a way, except she didn't need a tennis racket to unhinge. In any case, she wasn't one to have boys running after her. What had actually attracted Fuji to her – if you could even call it attraction – was probably her lack of 'popular'.  
"Well then, what do we do?" he asked, not really expecting an answer. She gave him a fearful look.  
"Father wants you to marry me," she whispered.  
"I figured as much. I'm sorry Takako-san-"  
"I know. It's alright. You don't love me, and I… I thought I loved you before, for a short while, but I don't even know you that well, so…" she gave a cheerless laugh. Fuji sighed in relief. That didn't really solve anything however. But Takako wasn't done.  
"I would have an abortion… I'm only seventeen; I can't raise a baby on my own. But father won't… He says he won't pay for something so sacrilegious." Takako's eyes had gone dead, and her face was pale.  
"He keeps saying we have to marry, no matter how much I screamed at him, and I did scream Fuji-kun."  
"Takako-san…" Fuji didn't like the way this seemed to be heading.  
"I don't want to marry you, and you don't want to marry me. I can't have an abortion, and I can't raise the baby on my own. Father would kick me out of the house, and I have no education, no job, no money to use for all the things the baby would need. So; I'm going to give it up for adoption as soon as it is born. I think I may be able to convince father to let me."  
"No."  
"What? Fuji-kun-"  
"I said no."  
Fuji was no longer smiling, his head bent so most of his face was hidden under his bangs.  
"I'm sorry Takako-san," he whispered. "But I can't let you do that."  
"B-but why not?" Takako stared at him in disbelief, her face having regained some of its color.  
"No child of mine will be given away. Ever. I'm sorry." His voice was cold and he knew he didn't sound the least bit apologetic. Takako looked startled.  
"There are a lot of children who live happily in adopted families, better than they would with their real parents, so why-"  
"You say your father will kick you out if you try to keep the baby, and you're probably right so I'll give you another option." He lifted his head and let his eyes – the eyes that frightened anyone to comply with his wishes – bore into her.  
"Give the baby to me. If you can't raise it then I will." Fuji smiled again, a sad smile. "I thought I'd never be able to have children, so in a way this is a blessing, ne?"  
Takako stared at him.  
"But… Your parents, are they going to be alright with that? Can you just decide-"  
"That won't be a problem. Don't worry Takako-san, this way everything will be alright, and you will be able to come visit our child whenever you want."  
"No… That's… If we do this, then… It will be your child. Not mine. If I give it to you, that's it. It may sound cold, but…" she choked but then seemed to force herself to continue. "As soon as it is born, I'll give it to you. And that will be that. No more."

_No more._

Fuji understood. They would be robbing their child of one parent, but Fuji would rather have that then let his child grow up under someone else's roof.  
"I understand. If that's the way you want it, then I'm not going to argue anymore. But when he or she grows up and asks where mommy is, what am I going to say?"  
Tears rolled down Takako's face, but she didn't wipe them away.  
"Maybe… Maybe in a few years it will be alright for me to visit?" She looked at him questioningly. Fuji wanted to shake his head. She had accepted his demand so easily, and now she was asking his permission to – in a few years – come visit a child that was at present still in her womb. Perhaps she really still was a child herself. His smile came easily, and was completely fake.  
"Of course, Takako-san." He gestured towards the door. "Well then, shall we tell the 'grownups' what we have decided?"  
Takako nodded and rose from the couch. Fuji watched her walk over to the door in a daze. His face was still smiling, and it would continue to smile, even though he still felt like screaming. Takako thought they had worked everything out, and where it concerned her, they probably had. Kyosumi wouldn't be able to object to their deal, he was terrified his daughter would end up with a 'bastard child' to take care of, rendering her unfit for marriage to any other man. Old values still existed in some places in the adult world, no matter how ridiculous they were. There was one other thing though. Fuji had told Takako his own parents wouldn't be a problem.

_No child of mine will be given away. No more. Eighteen years of anguish._

_No more._

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_A/N (again): Aren't I horrible? I was hinting towards something in this chapter. Let me know if you caught it (in other words; review!)._

_Still setting up the angst. Next chapter will (probably) contain school's reaction, Fuji family's reaction and MORE ANGST! Damnit, if I keep going like this I'll NEVER get to the yaoi! (snurvle)_

_Next chapter may take a while… Because this one didn't (hehe)._

_Flames will be… Shoot, too tired. Flames will be IGNORED!_

_Review please._


	5. Chapter 4

_A/N: You should know by now, in the story things in italics are either thoughts or emphasis, but in this chapter there is also one bit which is lyrics for a song. You should be able to tell which is which._

_Also, should you come across something that looks like this:_

_tezufujitezufuji-Ihatestupidquickeditthatwontletmeusemyownbreaks-tezufujitezufuji_

_It's a break. (grumbles)_

_Whee, I got more reviews._

_**Ayztis & Helpful I hope** (repeat reviewer number 1) Thank you. It'll be easier for me to write now that I have this information._

_**Yoshikochan:** Repeat reviewer number 2! (snickers) Heehe, you don't like Takako very much, do you? Rejoice (I am), because she won't feature much in this chapter._

_**Fujilover:** Repeat reviewer number 3! Your review made me happy! I couldn't very well have Fuji marry Takako, what would happen to all the nice yaoi I'm planning? (evil giggle)_

_Disclaimer: Deliriun does not own Tennis no Ohjisama, and you should know that by now. Also, Deliriun has run out of plushies to torture… _;;

_By the way, I have a challenge for you, if you feel up to it. Check my profile to find out what it is (it should have updated by now. If it hasn't please hit it for me)._

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**Chapter 4**

To say Kyosumi was happy about their decision was like saying Fuji was a saint; neither statement could be further from the truth. Kyosumi started screaming at Fuji calling him everything from bastard to childmolester, the latter actually making Fuji angry enough to talk back. The argument could have gotten out of hand, had not Fuji suddenly realised they were standing out in the corridor.

And people were looking.

Fuji slammed his smile back into place.  
"Kyosumi-san," he said, his voice though soft managing to penetrate Kyosumi's ranting. "The decision has been made and, unless you wish to change your resolution about not paying for an abortion, this is the best you'll get. I don't think you'd want me in your family anyway."  
He opened his eyes, showing the irritation he was feeling to the furious man. Fuji wished he could be pleased at the speed with which Kyosumi's anger deflated.

_That's right. Look at me; I look like I could kill you if I wanted to._

_And for a moment I actually considered it. I'm a monster._

The corridor was silent. Kyosumi had paled, as had most of the people standing in the vicinity. Someone once said 'with good intentions, any action is excusable.' The people who knew Fuji would say 'intent can be more terrifying than action.'

It is not what Fuji does; it's what he is _capable _of doing.

Ryuzaki – wary but still more used to Fuji's personality than the rest – cleared her throat.  
"Fuji, I think you should probably go home for today. I'll tell your other senseis," she finished in her usual brusque yet fond tone of voice. Fuji nodded and walked away from the adults. The students who had been gawping at the spectacle threw themselves out of the way as he stepped towards them. He ignored it.

Fuji had left his books with Eiji, and he decided to go get those before going home. He heard the whispers following him through the corridor. If he didn't hurry, the rumours may reach Eiji before he did. That – depending on who Eiji was with at the moment – had the potential of being a very bad thing.  
As it were, the rumours _did_ reach Eiji before Fuji did. Luckily, Eiji was not in the vicinity of Oishi, which was what Fuji had really feared.

_Or Tezuka. That would have been worse. Oh God I'm going to be sick._

Fuji smiled at the usually happy redhead. Said redhead did not smile back. He was upset, Fuji could tell.  
"Fuji…" Eiji worried his lower lip between his teeth. Then he seemed to decide something.  
"Nyah, not here," he exclaimed sending a glance at the crowd of people gathering hoping to overhear their conversation. He grabbed Fuji's arm and started walking. Fuji followed obediently. There was something he needed to make sure Eiji didn't reveal to anyone, and it had very little to do with Fuji's impending fatherhood. But an upset Eiji was not a secretive Eiji.  
Eiji didn't stop until they were on the roof. The acrobat looked around carefully to make sure there was no one else there. When he was satisfied they were alone, he made sure the door was closed tightly and gestured to Fuji to move as far away from it as possible, just in case. Fuji blinked – not that anyone would be able to tell – at how careful Eiji was being. Perhaps he hadn't needed to worry. Eiji was biting his lip again.  
"Fuji," he began slowly. "HAVE YOU GONE INSANE?"  
Fuji nearly flinched. Never mind; he'd worry. That had probably been heard all the way to the tennis courts. Eiji started ranting, thankfully in a somewhat lower volume.  
"Nyah, the whole baby thing happening is not something you can help. Well actually, you were the one who told me about how important safe sex and all that is and then you go do something like that so NYAH! You should have been more careful! But anyway, it happened. That's not the problem. I heard from Kurai-kun who heard from Minagawi-san who heard from Tetsuya-kun who was there that you're going to raise it YOURSELF! Nyah, have you LOST YOUR M-mmmph!" Fuji – not wanting the entire school to hear despite their isolated location – had clapped a hand to his friend's mouth. Eiji gave him a look that spoke of indignation. Or what Fuji guessed Eiji considered indignation. It looked more like Eiji was trying hard not to sneeze. When Fuji was certain Eiji had calmed down somewhat he removed his hand. Eiji looked intently at him for what felt like a minute.  
"Fuji," he finally continued. "What about your parents, nyah? Your father…"  
Fuji's smile got wider.  
"He's not my father."  
Eiji cringed. Fuji guessed he had heard from the rumours some of the things Fuji and Kyosumi had said to each other. Like how Fuji refused to give the child away for adoption. Fuji had good reason not to want that, and Eiji knew that reason.

Fuji was adopted himself.

"I know he's not, that's what I'm talking about." Eiji whispered. "He won't like this, what if he kicks you out."  
"I'm sure he will. And he dislikes everything I do, so it makes no real difference. I had been planning on moving out now that I'm eighteen anyway." Fuji shrugged, still smiling.  
"That's not… Fuji, we're still in school. How are you going to pay for a place of your own, and food, and clothes, and all the stuff the baby is going to need, and-"  
"I'll get a job. Perhaps I'll be able to use my fame, ne?" Fuji joked. Eiji didn't seem to think it was funny. Fuji sighed.  
"I know Eiji. This isn't my idea of a perfect situation either, but you don't have to worry about me. You'll turn into Oishi."  
Eiji blushed. Fuji's smile went genuine for a moment. Eiji would probably grow out of the puppy love he was currently nursing for his doubles partner, but until he did the tensai would enjoy reminding him of it. Fuji continued.  
"As I said, I've been planning on moving out for some time now. I've been looking for apartments with low rents, and I think I've found something decent. As for a job, if my reputation won't give me a good one, I'll take whatever I can get. In a way I'm glad this has happened, it is giving me the push I need to tell my 'parents' some secrets I've been hiding."  
"Nyah… Like what?" Eiji asked, curious.  
"Maa, I can't tell you Eiji. You're not my parents. Or are you? Is there something you'd like to tell me?"  
"NYAH Fuji, stop being stupid!"  
"Ah, sorry. It was just a question… No need to get upset."  
"It was a stupid question."  
"Maa, perhaps a little."  
Eiji was so easily distracted that for a split second Fuji almost felt guilty. Never the less, Eiji already knew the secret of Fuji's parentage which was more than even Yuuta – Fuji's little brother – did. The leak of said secret had been an accident. Fuji's 'father' had roared insults at Fuji once some five years ago – while Yuuta was at a summer camp – and yelled to his wife that they should never have adopted that 'demon child', not knowing that Eiji was in Fuji's room for a sleepover. Fuji had been forced to explain the whole thing to a very scared twelve year old redhead, just to calm him down enough so they could sleep. Eiji rarely stayed over with Fuji after that.

After finally convincing his acrobatic friend that everything was going to be just fine, Fuji – having collected his books – left the school area. As he was walking past the tennis courts he felt as though someone was glaring at him. It quickly disappeared, so he didn't think of it as much more than a side effect of having had so many glares directed at him that day already. The fact that Fuji was emotionally distraught could perhaps excuse his ignorance, but the boy standing next to the changing rooms wasn't in a very forgiving mood about anything that day.  
The regulars of the tennis team discovered this the hard way later that day at afternoon practice when said boy ordered everyone to run fifty laps for warming up too slowly.

_tezufujitezufuji-Ihatestupidquickeditthatwontletmeusemyownbreaks-tezufujitezufuji_

"I'm home."  
Fuji didn't expect an answer. Yumiko, his sister, was still at work, Yuuta was at Saint Rudolphs, Fuji's 'father' was also at work and his 'mother' was probably at some café with her friends. And even had one of the latter been home, they wouldn't have answered.  
Fuji quickly went to his room. There he took out a sportsbag he had bought – for money he had gotten when he sold some of his photographs – some time ago. He quickly put in a few clothing articles, making sure just in case that they too were bought with money he had earned himself somehow. His tennis uniform went in as well, as did his sneakers and one cactus. He didn't dare take his camera, even though it had been a gift from Yuuta on his birthday. Nor did he take his racket. He had a feeling his bag would be searched before he left. He had known it would come to this some day, even had he not managed to do something as stupid as getting someone pregnant, so every time he sold or bought something he made sure he kept the receipts. Finally finished with his packing he put the bag by the door and went to lie down on his bed. It wouldn't be his for long. He had told Eiji he was going to be alright and that he had already found an apartment. That had been an outright lie. There was no such thing as a low rent apartment in the area around Seishun, and while Fuji was currently looking at things farther away, he was having little luck. Not to mention he would now have to find an apartment where he could keep a baby without fear for his or her life from various household dangers. That would no doubt make it even more difficult.  
Emotionally overwrought, even though it didn't show on his face, Fuji fell asleep.

_tezufujitezufuji-Ihatestupidquickeditthatwontletmeusemyownbreaks-tezufujitezufuji_

Tezuka arrived at his house in a daze. There was no one home, for which he was grateful. His mood was anything but good. He had been a tyrant at practice and he had been told so too, repeatedly, by a whining redhead and – somewhat more professionally – a spikehaired dataman. Tezuka had just ordered them more laps for interrupting practice, something he later felt was unwise. He should have thanked them for distracting him instead, because standing there alone overlooking the courts his thoughts had been running one way into a dead end.

Fuji.

That was it. Thoughts of Fuji were a constant and had been so since the tensai gave his little confession a bit more than a month ago. At that time Tezuka had been shocked speechless. He had gotten confessions of love before. From girls. Having a boy suddenly say something like that made him want to go hide in a corner somewhere.

He would deny that vehemently if someone asked him though. Or at least give the person asking a cold glare.

He had been frightened and had in his nervousness jumped at the one thing he could think of to excuse his behaviour. Fuji's nature. The tensai was fickle, this anyone of his friends could attest to. Though Tezuka knew Fuji could also be incredibly stubborn about his decisions. It was a bit of a paradox.

_Why am I trying to rationalise this, it's Fuji. There is nothing rational about him._

Fuji joked around a lot. He would use his intellect to snare people, then he would watch their embarrassment with sadistic glee. Tezuka knew however this wasn't what Fuji was doing when he confessed his love for the captain. Still, Tezuka pretended this was what he believed. When he left the changing rooms that day, he thought for a brief moment that he heard a sob coming from the shorter boy, but he forced himself not to think about it. And now, it seemed he had been wrong to think Fuji was ever serious about his confession. The tensai had turned right around and gotten some girl pregnant. The rumours had flown all over the school in less than an hour, and before the day was over Tezuka had managed to find out all the details of the argument in the corridor through some inconspicuous questioning. He had found out some more facts from Ryuzaki when she had come to tell him that Fuji wouldn't be attending afternoon practice. The thought of Fuji raising a baby on his own was absurd, but commendable. Knowing Fuji as well as he did, Tezuka knew he would most likely overestimate his own intelligence – sizable as it may be – and try to cope with school, a job, tennis and the baby at the same time. Tezuka had met Fuji's parents, they wouldn't be any help. Tezuka knew he himself would never manage a juggling act so impossible, but Fuji wasn't just any ordinary person. He was a stubborn tensai and if he had decided to do something on his own, he would.

Now all Tezuka needed to do was figure out why that bothered him.

He shook his head. These thoughts of Fuji never ceased. The tensai seemed to be everywhere Tezuka looked. The smallest thing would remind him of the other boy. Tezuka couldn't figure out why. He felt as if it was starting to wear on his sanity. In desperation the stoic youth turned on the kitchen radio. His mother had it tuned in on some channel that played foreign music. Tezuka hoped for something in some language he didn't understand, so he could lose himself in the music and not think anything anymore. Unfortunately, he wasn't so lucky. He had turned the radio on somewhere in the middle of a song sung in English, a language he was mostly fluent in.

"_I will walk behind you wherever you go  
__I will twist among the flames in your fire  
__I will storm your castle, your will and your pride  
__and then you will forever be mine."_

Had Tezuka's parents been home they would have been shocked as their perfect son suddenly threw himself at the radio to turn it of and loudly exclaimed;

"Fuck!"

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_A/N: Ok, I know. Don't worry I'm not turning this into a songfic, I don't like those. I just needed something to show how Tezuka is suddenly obsessing. His reaction to that little bit should have been enough. The song is by Fjeld by the way. Afraid I don't remember the name, but that's the chorus of it._

_I know I said this chapter would probably contain Fuji family's reaction, well… Probably turned into maybe which turned into "naaaah". It was getting too long for me._

_Whee, yaoi hints! Small hints for now, but they should tide you over for a few chapters, because I STILL HAVE MORE ANGST TO SET UP! (evil laugh)_

_And Fuji is adopted all of a sudden, oh dear. Well, not completely. Here's a hint, his name would still be Fuji, even if he hadn't been adopted._

_Review please._


	6. Chapter 5

_A/N: Hey, it's been a while, sorry. Real life and all that._

_As always, in the story things in italics are either thoughts or emphasis. You should be able to tell which is which._

_Again,_ _should you come across something that looks like this:_

_tezufujitezufuji-Ihatestupidquickeditthatwontletmeusemyownbreaks-tezufujitezufuji_

_it's a break, ok?_

_I'll just get on with it, why don't I. _

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**Chapter 5 **

Fuji awoke to the sound of the front door slamming shut. He sat up quickly. There was only one person in the family who ever slammed the door, and that person should not be coming home that week. Fuji felt his heartbeat accelerate.

_Not you. I can't allow you to be here for this._

He checked his packing once more. Perhaps he should just leave now, through the window. He moved slowly to do so when a knock on his door stopped him.  
"Oi, aniki are you there?"  
Fuji wanted to hide and pretend he wasn't, but he knew Yuuta had most likely seen his shoes at the front door, and so knew he was home. He hesitated for a moment, then suddenly remembered.

_I'm leaving. I can't leave without him knowing why._

He promptly threw his smile back on and walked over to the door, opening it to find a rather ruffled little brother outside.  
"Stupid aniki, why don't you answer when I'm yelling?"  
"I'm so sorry Yuuta, I was sleeping." Well he was earlier anyway. "Did you want something?"  
Yuuta glared at him and shrugged, a bit embarrassed.  
"I was just wondering if you had a racket to lend me. We're supposed to do this exhibition match tomorrow for the non regulars and I broke the strings on mine and it's too late to fix them now…" He trailed off and blushed. He looked so cute Fuji just wanted to cuddle him up.

_My my, not very manly of me._

Fuji held back a chuckle. He quickly went and got the racket he had used that day at morning practice.  
"Here Yuuta, take this one. It's really obedient." Yuuta's face got even redder as he snatched the racket from his brother. Then he suddenly frowned.  
"Aniki, this is your regular racket."  
"Aah. Is there a problem?"  
Yuuta's frown got more severe.  
"You use this for practice, don't you need it yourself?"  
"Maa, about that, there's something I should tell you. Do you have a minute?" Fuji tilted his head to the side. Yuuta looked at him in distrust for a moment but then nodded grudgingly. The two brothers entered Fuji's room and sat down, Fuji on his bed and Yuuta on the chair in front of Fuji's desk. At his little brother's questioning glare, Fuji took a deep breath and started to speak.

"This is going to be a rather unusual story, and you may not believe it, but even so; please wait to storm out until I'm finished." Fuji made sure his face reflected how serious he was being, his eyes open and honest. Yuuta stared at him in disbelief already but nodded none the less. Relieved, Fuji continued.  
"You know about uncle Yanosuke? He died before either of us were born, but neesan may have mentioned him. Since I don't know how much you've heard though, I'll start from the beginning. Fuji Yanosuke was the younger brother in the family. He was a bit on the wild side, so when he announced that he was getting married to a girl ten years his junior people didn't really care. Apparently though, the whole Fuji family speculated that the marriage would only last a year at most. If they were right or not will never be known, because Yanosuke died in a car accident just three months after he wed. His young wife, who was living off her husband while she finished school – she was only 16 when she married you see – was pregnant when her husband died. She had no family of her own, and so no way to support herself, or her child. Her husband had been the black sheep of his own family, so getting support from them seemed impossible as well. She dropped out of school, took odd jobs and somehow managed to get through her pregnancy, giving birth to a baby boy, whom she named Syusuke."  
By this point Yuuta looked like he was choking on his tongue, but he kept his word and did not speak.  
"After the birth, things became troublesome for the girl, who was after all still a child herself. She was desperate and near a breakdown when she suddenly received a visit from her late husband's older brother. He told her that his own wife had been forced to be sterilised due to difficulties during his daughters birth, and that he was thus without an heir to his company. He told her that his wife had given him leave to take a mistress to conceive a son. He then told her that since she had proven her ability to bear male children, he would like her to be said mistress. The girl at first refused him, horrified, but the man was very persuasive. In the end, she agreed, on one condition. The man must not only raise the child – or children, should the first one not be a boy – he would conceive with her, but also adopt his brother's son as his own. The man was none too happy with this, as he had disliked his younger brother fervently, but agreed never the less. Approximately nine months later the girl once more gave birth to a baby boy. This one was given the name Yuuta."

Here Fuji paused the story, fully expecting a fully blown fit from his younger brother. He was surprised when no such thing happened. Yuuta was staring at his aniki in horror, his lower lip trembling slightly. Fuji didn't really blame him for that. After all, he had just been told the person he considered his mother was in fact not so. He spoke the rest in a soft voice.  
"The girl, having served her purpose, was quickly tossed aside. She was told never to contact the Fuji family again, as she now held no connection to it anymore. Both her sons now belonged to her late husband's older brother, and she was to have no part in their lives. She pleaded to the family to at least allow her to see her sons every now and then, but she was flatly turned down. In the end, she moved away from Tokyo, and the Fuji family could breath easily again."  
Fuji's voice had gone from soft to hard while he spoke. He looked up from where he was studying his clenched hands to meet his brother's eyes. Yuuta seemed to have collected himself somewhat and was now eyeing his brother with an – even to Fuji – unreadable expression.  
"If this is true, and I'm not saying I think it is… How come you know so much about it? I've never heard anything to support this stupid story anyway." He looked heatedly at Fuji.

Fuji nodded thoughtfully.  
"I figured you'd say that." He got up and walked over to where he had placed his sportsbag. Opening a side pocket, he pulled out a few sheets of paper and a couple of pictures which he had hidden there just shortly after he bought the bag. He handed one of the pictures to Yuuta, who took it hesitantly. As the younger boy looked at it, his face paled.  
"Those are pictures some of the nurses took at the hospital when you were born. Apparently 'father' didn't know about them, or I'm sure he would have taken them away. You've seen baby pictures of yourself. I'm sure you'll agree the baby in that picture is you and that the woman is not 'mother', but in case you still don't believe me…" He handed another picture to his brother. "This should convince you."  
While the previous picture had shown a nearly sleeping girl holding a red-faced baby Yuuta, this picture showed a very awake girl holding said baby. As Yuuta gasped Fuji knew his brother had realised the truth. The young mother holding baby Yuuta had deep blue eyes that seemed to want to swallow a person up. Eyes Yuuta had never before seen on anyone other than his brother.

_tezufujitezufuji-Ihatestupidquickeditthatwontletmeusemyownbreaks-tezufujitezufuji_

"Tezuka, sorry to call you so late."  
"Hn."  
"Are you alright? You seemed a bit… Upset, at practice this afternoon."  
"Hn."  
"Well, if you say so. I just want you to know, if you need someone to talk to…"  
"Oishi."  
"Eh, hai?"  
"… Make sure you are on time tomorrow for unlocking the door. Some of the second years have expressed a wish to begin their warm-ups early."  
"Err, right. I'll do that. Are you sure there's nothing…"  
"I'm sorry, I have to go. I will see you tomorrow."  
"Ah, alright. See you then."  
"Good night."  
"Good night Tezuka."

_tezufujitezufuji-Ihatestupidquickeditthatwontletmeusemyownbreaks-tezufujitezufuji_

It took a while for Yuuta to calm down. As soon as he was capable of speech again he started questioning his brother once more. Fuji handed over the sheets of paper he had extracted from his bag earlier and explained that they were letters he had started to receive from their mother a few years back. He also told Yuuta that their 'father' had never made a secret of the fact that Fuji was adopted, the tensai had simply not known the circumstances surrounding the whole thing until Yumiko started handing him his mother's letters. Apparently, Fuji and Yuuta's mother realised that letters sent to them directly would be intercepted by their 'father', so she sent them to Yumiko instead, via her work, hoping the girl would not hand them over to her father. Yumiko, who loved her younger brothers even knowing Fuji was adopted, had kept the letters until she was sure it was safe. She had then only given letters to Fuji however, because he knew the truth to a point, while Yuuta was quite happy in his family life. She didn't want to destroy that.  
"The only reason I'm telling you now is because I'll be leaving, and I feel you should know the reason." Fuji finished his explanation. "If you ask Yumiko-neechan I'm sure she'll give you your letters."  
"You're leaving? What, where?"  
Fuji smiled.  
"You know I've never been welcome here, now you know why as well. I'm eighteen years old. I can live on my own now, and that is what I'm going to do. I had planned to wait until I finished school, but certain things have happened."  
"What certain things?" Yuuta asked confusedly.  
"Oh, this and that. I've bought all the things I need to move out, I managed to get enough money for it, I got a girl pregnant. Nothing major." He waited the preset three seconds it usually took for his brother to work himself up to righteous incredulity. He was right on the dot.  
"WHAT THE HELL?"  
"Maa, I sold some photos. You'd be surprised at what some people will pay for…"  
"ANIKI DAMNIT! You know it's not the money I'm…! What the hell do you mean you got a girl pregnant? I thought you were…" Here Yuuta interrupted himself and blushed a furious shade of red.  
"Gay? Maa, perhaps I am. Though it's so troublesome to stick to one preference. I'd rather just go with what my…" He gave his brother an innocent look. "… _Gut_ tells me."  
Yuuta's face looked like it could be used for a traffic signal. Fuji couldn't help wanting to tease him some more.  
"Aah, doesn't your… _Gut_… Ever tell you to… Do things, Yuuta?" He languidly moved closer to his brother who was fretting on the desk chair, reaching out a hand to touch the boy's face. Yuuta flew up in a hurry.  
"STUPID ANIKI!" He rushed to the door, flung it open and stomped down the hall to his own room where he quickly locked himself in, leaving his older brother holding on to an empty chair while trying very hard not to collapse in merriment.

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A/N: There you go, another chapter. Not sure how long the next one will take, because I'm not quite sure how to write it. And after that it will become even more difficult (sniff), even though I have the plot mostly worked out._

_And there is more angst coming, muahahaha!_

_You may have noticed that I'm only using very few Japanese words in this fic. The ones I do use are as follows:_

_Aniki: Older brother (or perhaps simply older sibling, not sure). I think this is a polite form of address.  
Oneesan/neechan: Older sister._

_I'll probably use some more in the coming chapters._

_Review please; it's like fuel for my writing. Tell me your thoughts._

_(Flamers will be ignored)_


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